^Um...not quite, but very close! It actually says:
"I am the banana. I don't like French, but I am typing it. Yes yes French. I want a partner in crime to ride Roller Coasters with me. Yes, I am still typing in Frech, even though I do not speak French. Shut it!...no! Muwahaha, I will continue to trype in French because I am gay. I am amazing. You all want to be just like me! I would like to go back to Japan, but I can't because life sucks! Do you like my rant?
-Dainan "I am tired" Rafferty"
...I was bored. DON'T JUDGE ME!